What does it mean today to be a strong woman?

A post to celebrate International Women's Day 2024

Every year on International Women’s Day I put up a post about strong, amazing women. It’s not difficult at all, because these women are everywhere! But what does it mean to be a strong, amazing woman? Sure, some answers are obvious: there are plenty of women out there in the public eye, taking the world by storm, kicking goals and living the dream. But not everyone gets dealt a fair and equal hand in life, and strength comes in many forms, which can be easy to forget if we spend too much time imbibing online messaging. And while I absolutely applaud every woman who can prioritise her fitness and expertly put on makeup, or who knows her way around a fashionable outfit (all things I am often striving for and frequently failing to achieve :P), this can’t be where the conversation ends. So here are some of the strong women I want to celebrate today:

Strength is the new mum on no sleep who’s got a raging headache but still finds it in herself to get up and comfort her children.

Strength is the woman calling in some outside help for kids, housework, life, whatever, because she knows she needs to take a break and rest.

Strength is the troubled woman showing up imperfectly online, putting out some part of herself that feels achingly vulnerable, in the hope it will help someone else.

Strength is the woman placing boundaries around social media, to protect her mental health.

Strength is the dying woman, bearing the injustice of her illness with quiet dignity.

Strength is the cantankerous woman who won’t follow the rules if they don’t make sense.

Strength is the woman in the midst of war, finding some small reason to keep going and help those around her.

Strength is the woman venturing into unknown territory in her life, being brave enough to ask uncomfortable questions of herself and others, even if she knows it might lead to answers she doesn’t want to hear.

Strength is the woman who has hidden away and gone to therapy for years, in the hope of something better; and who is now taking cautious new steps back into the world.

Strength is the woman who can look our complex, topsy-turvy world straight in the eye and say honestly, ‘I don’t know how to tackle this.’

Strength is the woman who dives straight into the fray.

Recently, I had the privilege of listening to writer Amal Awad talk at the Perth Writers Festival. Amal has been vocal in speaking out in support of the Palestinian people, detailing her struggle while she’s grappled with the horrific realities and devastation of the war, and the divisive reactions around her. She spoke out on social media quite a bit in the early days of the war, and I admired her for it. She recently took herself off social media, and I admired her for that too.

One of her comments during a panel discussion at the festival was along the lines of, all women, wherever they come from, are used to pleasing people and are not allowed to be angry. It was something that has stayed with me. Not as brand-new information, but as a reminder of how certain aspects of womanhood bind us all together across cultures, throughout the world. Even though some of us at least have a voice, while many others don’t.

I often find myself at an impasse around language these days when I tackle topics like this. I don’t feel it’s right for anyone to speak on behalf of all women as a homogenous group, but that we also desperately need people to speak up for all women as an infinitely complex group who share commonalities and represent half of humanity! I don’t want womanhood to mean one thing, and to be forced to subscribe to that; instead, I want it to mean many things, and to be fearless in embracing that. And I worry that in western culture, strength is now synonymous with power and prestige, so that we laud praise on certain women, often the most beautiful, visible and fortunate, while neglecting and undermining others who have chosen or been forced down different paths.

So here’s to all the women: the extroverts, the business-savvy, the artists, entrepreneurs, and the quiet warrior women. Here’s to the meek women who might eventually inherit the earth, for being wise enough to stay out of the chaos! We’re all capable of being strong women, in whatever circumstance, if we continually get back up after the avalanche of daily/societal/family/cultural expectations takes our legs out from under us. So whether it feels like you’re gliding through life or tumbling down the slopes right now, let’s take a moment to celebrate everything we are, and all we can find to hold onto. Awesomeness doesn’t have to be exclusive, because we’re all trying to be the very best we can be.