Tackling the uncomfortable ask
Reaching out is essential. Here’s how to make it feel a little easier.
Authors have to do a lot of uncomfortable asks – from asking agents and publishers to read their books, to contacting authors for endorsements, to requesting favours from all sorts of people. I can’t imagine it’s easy for many of us – particularly those of us who don’t want to be a ‘nuisance’ or put anyone out, and therefore tend to overthink the process. Some people seem to operate in the request space with ease, and in my experience it does get easier with practice, but I still find it haaaaard! However, in this challenging occupation it’s important to ask for things, and to ask well. Particularly when we can’t wait for or expect our publishers to do everything, because they are often stretched thin across a lot of books. So if you’re in the process of seeking some support, here are a few reminders and strategies I’ve used that might make this process a little easier. In my experience, the more you ask, the more things begin to happen!
Do your homework before you ask
Think carefully about who you’re asking, why you’re asking, and what you’re asking for. Consider what the recipient of your request needs to know. If you’re asking an agent to read your book, they need to know why you want them to read it. They need a cover letter that explains succinctly what your book is about, how it would appeal to readers (and which kind of readers would like it), and how it would sit in the marketplace. They’ll want to know what you think makes your book stand out from the crowd, and why you want them to represent you – I found your name online is not enough. The more detail you can add, the better the response will be.
Be specific about what you’re hoping for
Make sure the person you’re contacting knows what you’re asking for, particularly if there are any deadlines around this.
Be proud of your work, and ask with excitement
Don’t be shy about your enthusiasm for your work. Back yourself and believe in what you’re offering. Although I don’t think I’ll get everyone to read my book (and I also understand that it won’t be a five-star read for everyone), by the time I’ve worked on my story with my publisher and editor for a year, and given it my all, I sincerely believe I can offer all psychological suspense lovers a great read. We’re not asking for ‘puff piece’ great reviews, we want to find the people who genuinely love our stories, and therefore we should be proud of what we’re offering.
Be humble without being apologetic
We all know everyone is very tight on time nowadays, so it’s easy to go in to an ask apologising for troubling people. However, it reads more confidently if you’re aware of this and grateful – i.e. ‘I know you’ll be busy, thanks for your consideration’ - rather than ‘sorry to bother you’ apologetic. When you’re apologetic it can send the message that part of you doesn’t think this is a reasonable ask.
Make sure your tone indicates flexibility and doesn’t unintentionally sound demanding.
Recipients of requests will appreciate your acknowledgement of the need to be flexible, because they can’t always do precisely what is asked for. If you can work in some flexibility around your ask – without diminishing what you need – then that can be helpful.
Personalise the ask as much as possible
I recently had an endorsement request come with a beautiful, personalised handwritten letter, and I so appreciated the effort and attention to detail that went into that. It made me want to support this author, who was prepared to put that extra work and vulnerability into this moment.
Have courage, take risks
If there’s an author you’d love to read your work, or a podcast you’d love to go on, but it feels out of your league, ask anyway. You just never know, as many people are looking for content and are happy to support others when they have time.
Remember you can ask more than once
I recently sent off a load of promotional requests for book drop-in visits, and there was a venue I really wanted to go to, which didn’t get back to me. I waited a while then followed up with a phone call and they happily came on board. If you haven’t heard back from someone it might be that your request got lost, so don’t give up after the first ask.
Take a no in good faith, and don’t let it put you off
I’m passionate about encouraging authors to say no when they’re overwhelmed as we get asked about a lot of things and can only do so much – overwhelm and burnout loom large in this industry. Very often, a no doesn’t mean your request wasn’t done well enough, it’s simply a time issue: so don’t dwell on these and keep going.
A no doesn’t last forever
If there’s someone you’d love to work with – remember you can always ask again in future, even if it didn’t work out this time. As long as you leave a reasonable amount of time so you’re not pestering someone, then mark some of your no’s down as an ‘ask again in future’ rather than giving up.
I’m trying to practise what I preach! Here are a few things I’ve been asking lately…
I asked about reselling rights for my first book, now 15 years old, which has resulted in two new deals. (More on that when they’re signed!)
I love coming up with creative ideas to support my books, and because my book is set in the southwest of Australia, I’ve decided to go on a pre-publication book tour and hand out proofs in the area next week – and I thought it would be fun to turn it into a treasure hunt! So I sent out emails to bookshops, libraries and local businesses, followed up with phone calls, and some really amazing places have jumped on board to help me with this. (I didn’t have 100% success rate: some said no too and didn’t get back to me – but plenty said yes!)
You can follow my tour next Tuesday and Wednesday (18th and 19th March) on Instagram and Facebook using the hashtags #FindLou and #WhenSheWasGone – and I’ll put a round-up post on my Notes here too and report back in my next post.
Also watch this space next week as I’m working on a plan to extend this idea and encourage more writers to join in the fun!
Have a great week, and good luck with your uncomfortable asks – I’m rooting for you!
LOVE THIS! Thank you Sara, this is very timely for me! I have always found asking quite difficult, but I’ve come to understand that this difficulty is often a projection of my own (lack of) boundaries. My reluctance to ask for something often stems unconsciously from not wanting to put the other person in the same discomfort *I* might feel about saying no. (!!) As I become more comfortable saying ‘no' or ‘yes' according to how I really feel, I’ve found I’m more comfortable asking of others, too. So now I'm quite happy to hear a ‘no’, even if it’s disappointing! I also love the reminder to have courage and ask big. I am going to refer to this lovely advice again. Thank you!! xx
The treasure hunt sounds super!