My eyes! My eyes! The slow return to deep work and settling my mind
On dialling things down and playing the long game (Writing Journal #8)
Argh, my eyes! I’m feeling the toll of a lifetime of reading, editing, proofreading, and staring at screens, so I’m finally admitting defeat and heading back to the opticians because I can’t really see small print any more (even small paperbacks are getting a bit blurry). My optician is a good friend, but he threatened me with varifocals last time, which I’m not at all keen on. In fact, I still intend to learn how to use contact lenses, although I’ve been wearing glasses for at least a decade now – surely one day soon, my plan to practice poking myself in the eye without flinching will finally reach the top of my to do list?!
Self-care is high on my list right now: it’s been a busy year, and while I’ve enjoyed finding my purpose and path a bit more since finishing my PhD, I’m also feeling some end-of-year exhaustion. Between the excitement and pressures of writing, self-care can easily fall down my to do list, and now I’m at a bit of a crossroads where I’m hoping to set my time up a bit better, and do things a little more mindfully when I have the opportunity, while still embracing the inevitable chaos when it arises. I’ve also turned my attention to outsourcing more of the tasks around admin and outreach (sometimes I’m so pushed for time, I don’t even get chance to publicise the posts I’ve written) – which includes setting up my eleven-year-old to do my tax filing admin for me and my older daughter doing some of my Canva graphics. (They earn pocket money, lessen my load and we get more time together – it’s an all-round win!)
I’ve always found it stressful to outsource work when my income isn’t stable, so part of this process is learning to trust that if I get to put more of my attention towards writing, then the investment will pay off. As serendipity would have it, as soon as I decided this, I got three film and TV enquiries in the last week (after a year of nothing) – and a few things are starting to shift in terms of backlist and the TV options already on the go. So I hope this is a good sign! It’s also a great reminder of how important it is to just hang in there with your writing, as for extended periods it can feel like you’re slogging away each day while everything slowly sinks around you and tumbleweed rolls across your desk, and then, suddenly, an agent, a publisher, or a producer is interested in your work, and everything changes again.
I’ve also been thinking about courses and mentoring lately. Last week I ran a psychological suspense masterclass with Writing WA, which I really enjoyed, and I’m finally getting closer to putting some of my course material up online, which I’m super excited about for next year (paid subscribers will get substantial discounts, of course!). However, it’s challenging trying to teach process and concepts to writers who are all working on their own very individual projects, and I hope I emphasised enough that they only need take on board the parts of our discussion and workshopping that feels meaningful to them. There’s a notion that listening is an under-developed skill in our culture, but sometimes I almost want the writers I come across to listen a bit less – or at least selectively – so they don’t squash their efforts to find their own unique voice by taking on too much advice.